The only thing cuter than a flower girl munching on petals as she moseys down the aisle performing her flower girl duties is perhaps the broad smile of your little ring bearer as he shyly hands over the rings.

Because these special little wedding VIPs are traditionally pretty young, they’re going to need a little more coaching than, say, your MOH (at least we hope so!). Flower girl duties and ring bearer duties can seem like a big responsibility when you’re just a little kind. This will be the very first wedding for many of them, so you can’t assume they have even the foggiest idea what they’re supposed to do.

Help set your little ones up to be the greatest ring bearers/flower girls in the world by making sure they’re prepared.

10 Cool Things About Being a Ring Bearer Book – from The Knot Wedding Shop

10 Neat Things About Being a Flower Girl Book – from The Knot Wedding Shop

1. Ask them. Well, ask their parents first, and then find a good time to sit down with the child to ask, “Will you be our flower girl?” or “Will you be our ring bearer?” The idea is to not make them feel like you’re forcing them… I mean, you’re asking your bridesmaids’ permission, right? Your little ones deserve the same courtesy.

2. Educate them. Explain what happens by patiently outlining their flower girl duties and/or ring bearer duties. Show them wedding movies with ring bearers and flower girls playing their parts – or get them cute storybooks that explain the process without overwhelming them.

3. Practice makes perfect. Give them the opportunity to try, try again. If possible, bring them to the venue once or twice before the rehearsal to let them get acquainted with the space – practicing their flower girl duties and ring bearer duties at home simply will not be the same as practicing in the actual ceremony venue. Have them participate in the rehearsal as well, if possible.

4. Bribery is your best friend. It’s the secret weapon of savvy parents everywhere: Let them know there’s a special gift in it for them if they do a great job. Also have candy or their favorite stuffie on hand at the ceremony. Place bribery tools at the end of the aisle, as well as a parent, so if they’re going to choose to run, at least it will be in the right direction. 🙂

5. Expect the unexpected. Children are unpredictable – that’s part of their charm. Be prepared for your flower girl and ring bearer to do things their own way, and that includes getting stage fright and not going through with it. Have a backup plan, just in case. Remember, asking “Will you be my flower girl?” or “Will you be my ring bearer?” and getting a “yes” is not an iron-clad promise coming from a shy four-year-old.

Yes, child attendants add major cuteness to your wedding ceremony, but you’ve got to allow for the fact that they’re, well, children. Give them lots of the 3 P’s: Practice, Praise, and Prezzies, and you’ll increase your chances of having it go smoothly.

Got very young child attendants? Check out our awesome strategies specifically for the youngest of kidlets.