Save the Date Etiquette: The #1 Mistake to Avoid!
Save-the-dates are super exciting because it’s one of the first ways you get to share the happy news of your wedding with your favorite people – but don’t get so excited that you forget all about save the date etiquette.
Wedding save the date etiquette isn’t complicated. In fact, it’s mostly common sense. However, brides commit save the dates etiquette blunders ALL THE TIME. Here’s how to avoid becoming an embarrassing statistic:
Wedding Guests Only
It may be tempting to send save-the-dates to every coworker, long-lost friend, your dry-cleaner… I mean, they’re so cute, right??… but don’t do it! Save-the-dates are “pre-invitations,” so only send them out to people you’re sure you’re inviting to the wedding. No invitation? No save the date.
Take Your Time
It’s fine to send out save-the-dates as soon as you know you’ve booked your ceremony venue. However, because this usually happens waaaaay before you’ve finalized your guest list, wedding save the date etiquette dictates you ONLY to people you’re absolutely, completely, 100% positive you’ll be inviting. Once you’ve figured out the rest of the A-listers, you can send out a second batch of save-the-dates if you want to (although there’s no rule saying everyone has to get one – a wedding invitation only is perfectly fine).
Guest List First, Save-the-Date Second
Establish your guest list before you put your save-the-dates in the mail. The absolutely worst save the dates etiquette blunder you can make is to send your save-the-dates out to people who end up on your B-list. Then you’re either roped into inviting them or you have the dreadful task of explaining why they aren’t invited after all. Which brings up our next point…
If They Got a Save-the-Date, They Get an Invitation
Don’t be a mean bride. If you sent someone a save-the-date, you should invite them to the wedding, even if your guest list has changed in the interim. Period.
Got a save-the-date question? Ask us!
My daughter is having a destination wedding. Her future brother-in-law will not be attending. Should she still send him a Save the Date card?
Hi Nancy! My apologies for the long delay in replying! If your daughter would want her brother-in-law at the wedding, then yes, definitely send the save-the-date, even if she already knows he can’t attend. Same goes for any guests on the list. 🙂 Hope that helps!