Ugh, wedding invitation address etiquette – it can totally make your head spin… and often a search online for how to properly address wedding invitations only makes things even MORE confusing.

Never fear! Here is a quick primer for wedding invitation addressing etiquette that will hopefully answer the vast majority of your questions, like how to add children, what to do with prefixes like “Dr.” and “Mrs.” and much more. And hey, if you your weird situation isn’t covered, please leave a comment below and we will figure it out for you!

Wedding Invitation Address Etiquette: 10 Essential Rules

1) For a couple when their last names are the same: The proper wedding invitation address etiquette here is to put “Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Hannigan.” But if you want to go more modern/informal, it’s fine to write “Mr. and Mrs. Hannigan” or even “Theresa and Gregory Hannigan.” Don’t write “Mr. Gregory and Mrs. Theresa Hannigan…” I don’t know why, but it sounds weird, right?

2) For a couple whose last names are different: It’s long, but the right thing to do here is “Mr. Gregory Hannigan and Mrs. Jessica Thompson.” If the couple isn’t married, you can use “Ms.” in place of “Mrs.”

3) For divorced women or widows: How to properly address wedding invitations can get tricky here, but in general, use “Ms.” for a divorcee and “Mrs.” for a widow.

4) Who goes first? If your wedding invitation address etiquette question is “Why should I put the husband first when I only know the wife?” well, the Alternative Bride answer is to do what feels best. No one is going to be upset if you write “Jessica and Gregory Hannigan.”

5) What about doctors? If they are both doctors, you can write “Drs. Gregory and Jessica Hannigan” or even get fancy-schmancy and write “The Doctors Gregory and Jessica Hannigan.” If only one of them is a doctor, the wedding invitation addressing etiquette is “Dr. and Mrs. Gregory Hannigan” or “Dr. Jessica Hannigan and Mr. Gregory Hannigan.”

6) What about children? Okay, the kids: if the kids are over 18, they should get their own invite. If they are younger, you can do “Mr. and Mrs. Hannigan” on the first line and “Amy, Joey, and Timmy” on the second line. There are also rules about inner and outer envelopes, but we think that’s too fussy. (But just FYI, the kids’ names are supposed to go on the inner envelope along with the parents’ names, but just the parents’ names on the outer envelope.)

7) Inner and outer envelopes? Skip ’em! People like to do inner and outer envelopes because it keeps the inner envelope and invite nice and clean while the outer envelope can get all munched in the mail. But seriously, who cares? Do you think your guests are going to be offended by a few post-office smudges. Doubtful.

8) Miss or Ms.? Use “Miss” if the invitee is under 18. You can use “Ms.” if she is older.

9) To handwrite or not to handwrite? The etiquette jury is still hashing this one out, but meanwhile the Alternative Bride wedding invitation address etiquette is simply this: do what you want. If someone you know has nice handwriting, enlist their help. If you want to splurge on a calligrapher, go for it. If you’d prefer to have your stationer print the address and return address, that’s fabulous too. Or you can do it at home on your own printer! The bottom line is that it doesn’t make sense to fret about something that is immediately going to go in the recycling bin.

10) What do I do if I’m not sure or I make a mistake? If you don’t know how to properly address wedding invitations in a certain situation, there are a few things you can do: ask us, Google it, or just take a stab at it. If you send out your invites only to discover you accidentally spelled someone’s name wrong, just let it go; the etiquette gods won’t strike you down, we promise. Your guests are not going to lose ANY sleep whatsoever or your wedding invitation envelopes, and you shouldn’t either.

Photo Credit: Sarah Parrott on Flickr